the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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