Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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