so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
