dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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