States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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