I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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