Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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