the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
