grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
