I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry about my life...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
