both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
