So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
