theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
