My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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