Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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