people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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