I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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