I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize