he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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