She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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