Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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