I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
