I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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