She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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