I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize