I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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