wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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