yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
