He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
