this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
