Banned from zoo.
Again?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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