omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
