That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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