Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize