pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
