I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
