AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
