I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
