So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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