it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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