She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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