god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
