I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize