Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I love how my cats smell like pot.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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