Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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