Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
