she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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