Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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