I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
a search helicopter?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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