genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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