with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
