we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
