Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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