the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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