so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
me + whiskey = a bad person
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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