I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
