Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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