Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
