I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
